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Here's a 1999 rant from The New Tetris:
*************START LUPIN RANT FOR 50 MOST HATED THINGS********************
1] Idiot teens hanging out in front of 7'11s, KFC, McDonalds, Jack In The Box etc... Your life REALLY SUCKS if that's the high point of your day...
2] A$$holes who spit on the sidewalk.
3] Drivers who don't know how to use a turn signal. I can reach mine with my pinky while driving. It's not that hard.
4] Teens with their pants around their a$$.
5] People with personalized licence plates.
6] BMX bikes.
7] People panhandling me. Get a job losers! McDonalds is always hiring!
8] Bums with dogs. I'm sure the dog loves eating cheese from old pizza boxes.
9] The cheeseheads from asia who take a Honda Civic, slap some stickers on it, put a muffler on it that makes it sound like a riding lawnmower, a ridiculous sized fin on the back and think they have a formula 1 racer. 'Devastating Power!' my a$$!
10] The same idiots who then drive their 'hot' civic like they are in the Indy 500 through busy traffic.
11] The huge complex hairdos on african american women, 5 layers, 6000 curls, 4 sprouting areas, 200 dangling bits, 6000 beads, air conditioning and enough hairspray in it that it wouldn't move if Hurricane George hit it.
12] People with Kleenex, plants, knitted blankets, stuffed animals, or lacey things in their cars rear window. I should be allowed to pull over and shoot them.
13] People on the bus who talk so loud your forced to hear about their pointless lives.
14] Crappy parkers who park their car REALLY close to the painted line so that you have half a foot to get out.
15] Those old cars (ie, Cadillacs, Lincoln Town Cars, etc...)usually white for some strange reason... with the acient driver who always drives WAY under the speed limit.
16] People who write a cheque for a $2 bag of nachos at Safeway.
17] Corvettes, Comaros and Firebirds. Come on, the 80s are OVER!
18] A$$hole tailgaters.
19] Idiots who think they can pedal a bike as fast as a car, so they ride in the middle of a traffic lane. You should be allowed to run them over, it looks like natural selection to me.
20] Teenagers on television news reports expressing their opinions on something. If your under 18 I don't give a sh1t about what you have to say...
21] The singer Brandy, Celine Dion, all the divas....
22] Twits who wear a huge parka outside when its sunny and a mild 5-10 C. The same thing goes with the whole scarf thing.
23] Muni busses that smell like urine. Which is most of them.
24] Corporate Broadcasting logos in the corner of the channel your watching.
25] Web pages that pop open other pages and windows and then disable your 'back' button.
26] People who walk around with a huge 'portable' stereos blaring, sharing their music with everyone around them. Usually crap rap.
27] Junk mail.
28] Peice of sh1t cars that spew out huge noxious clouds behind them.
29] People that throw out huge items on the curb expecting the garbage people to remove it. Like old dirty matresses. They don't of course, and it sits on the curb for weeks.
30] Budweiser beer and the people who drink it. I'd rather suck the piss out of a pig... Its time to poison the bud.
31] Drivers who turn onto the road RIGHT in front of you causing you to slam on the brakes, even though there is no one for hundereds of feet behind you.
32] People who drive 3/4 in one lane and 1/4 in another... what the hell is that????
33] Religous people who push their drivel on you when your walking down the street. Or come knocking on your door.
34] Dead web page links and 'Document not found' errors.
35] Racisist people and the crap they spew out.
36] Those stupid add banners from Geocities on the Internet when you hit someones home page going through them...
37] All country music.
39] People who spray paint their names on rocks, signs, trees etc, in national parks. Like I care that Bill graduated in 86.
40] Small yappy 'feeder' dogs. Like little Yorkies, poodles, etc...
41] People in the fast lane who drive just 2 km/hr faster than the guy in the 'slow' lane, dawdling along.
42] Film crews making bad movies most people doent want to see blocking the streets and being annoying.
43] Big fat bugs that splat on my windshield.
44] Those really tight spandex cycling pants on men, they are usually sooooo tight, you can tell if they are cirumcised.
45] Those really tight spandex cycling pants on 90% of the women. Big fat a$$es and *wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide* camel toes.
46] Those really annoying commericals from Rogers Cable that tell you all about the 'evils' of satalite tv and how lucky you are to be getting cable for a mere $65 a month.
47] Commercials that are SO bad on tv, you have to wonder about the sh1t for brains who thought them up. Like the Old Navy commericals, or the old as hell commercial for Sarah Lee, that is STILL ON THE AIR, 'let them eat cake' and 'But Patrick, I'm to old for life insurance.' Shoot them ALL!
48] Losers that listen to totally cheezy radio stations and then slap dozens of their stupid stickers all over thier car.
49] Lilith Fair. I say when they are all hugging, listening to the music, sharing tampons, and bitching about how evil men are, toss in a few hundered grenades while recording it on camera. Sell the video as a 'To Hot for TV' tape late at night.
50] Cheap a$$ manufacturers of DVDs who list as 'features' chapters, interactive menues, and the time. These arent features. Thats like calling your computers keyboard a 'feature'. Lame a$$ marketing people.
51] DVD manufactureres that sell their DVDs for $40 and up, just because they know people will pay for it. DVDs have actually become MORE expensive than when they first came out.
52] Nintendo and everything about them.
53] Old people who clog up the sidewalk walking super slow when you want to get somewhere.
54] Looking at demo-reels at work that are so incredibly bad, that I just want to call them up and tell them to go f*ck their demo reel and to never EVER send another one out to anybody. EVER.
55] Spiders. All spiders. Everyone of them.
56] How on the Nintendo 64 game machine, half the damn titles for it are called 'miscvidgame 64'. Why not come up with a real name? Why is everyone just slapping a 64 on all the games? ************************************END LUPIN RANT************************
Here's another 1999 rant from The New Tetris:
©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©© © © © This code is © Copyright H2O Entertainment Corp.,1999 © © © ©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©© © © © GET OUT OF OUR CODE YOU FILTHY HACKERS 8-) BITCHES © © © ©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©© © © © CODERS FOR THE NEW TETRIS WERE : © © © © © © LEAD,SYSTEM,AUDIO,ENGINE © M A R T I A L A R T I S T © © © © SPECIAL FX,ASM © F Y S X © © © © SOFTIMAGE DATA CONVERSION © G R A N O L A B O Y © © © © ANIMATION PLAYER © F R E E R A D I C A L © © © © AI © O R I O N © © © © © © NO ONE ELSE DID DICK FUCK ALL FOR CODE SO SHUT YOUR © © FUCKING TRAPS © © © ©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©
And ANOTHER Tetris rant:
I must say, this was a fun time coming down to San Francisco to do The New Tetris. Allthough there were a few problems. First of all being our producer.. D*N, my god.. is this guy useless or what?? I don't hate you D*N.. but you SUCK, and I mean SUCK as a producer. You should go back to testing video games, but I doubt you could even manage that properly. I feel sorry for you. During this project you just sat around and played video games.. starcraft and everquest. Don't even deny that.. when you WERE working, it was making stupid Excel (tm) spreadsheets to try and tell me how many bugs I had left to fix on a graph.. like WTF is that??? who cares.. I have the bug list in front of me, like I need to see it in freaking technicolor. So D*N, I must say this.. hold onto, and fake your job while you can, because once they find out how truely useless you are, you will be out of a job. I cannot think of any skillset you would fit into in this industry, so you better hold on tight. (This guy thought I could save a name in 8.4 BITS.. like umm.. .4 BITS?? WTF is .4 BITS?? its either ON or OFF, not in between... anyhow, Enough about you though.
Here is one from The Hobbit(GBA):
I LIKE MONKEYS. I like monkeys. The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece. I thought that odd since they were normally a couple thousand each. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth. I bought 200. I like monkeys. I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one drive. His name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching themselves in their genitals. I laughed. Then they punched my genitals. I stopped laughing. I herded them into my room. They didn't adapt very well to their new environment. They would screech, hurl themselves off of the couch at high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the spectacle lost its novelty halfway into its third hour. Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive: they all died. No apparent reason. They all just sorta' dropped dead. Kinda' like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later. Damn cheap monkeys...I didn't know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my room, on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked like I had 200 throw rugs. I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn't work. It got stuck. Then I had one dead, wet monkey and 199 dead, dry monkeys. I tried pretending that they were just stuffed animals. That worked for a while, that is until they began to decompose. It started to smell real bad...I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in the toilet and I didn't want to call the plumber. I was embarrassed...I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them. Unfortunately there was only enough room for two monkeys at a time so I had to change them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so it didn't all go bad...I tried burning them. Little did I know my bed was flammable. I had to extinguish the fire. Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen monkeys in my freezer, and 197 dead, charred monkeys in a pile on my bed. The odor wasn't improving. I became agitated at my inability to dispose of my monkeys and to use the bathroom. I severely beat one of my monkeys. I felt better. I tried throwing them way but the garbage man said that the city wasn't allowed to dispose of charred primates. I told him that I had a wet one. He couldn't take that one either. I didn't bother asking about the frozen ones. I finally arrived at a solution. I gave them out as Christmas gifts. My friends didn't know quite what to say. They pretended that they like them but I could tell they were lying. Ingrates. So I punched them in the genitals. I like monkeys.
All the Tetris rants were written by the late David Pridie. Dear Dave's ghost: I wish not to face your wrath. I wish to spread your rant. The Monkey shitpost was copy-pasted off the internet anonymously.
I'm feeling great. I have a therapy appointment in 4 days, and that could be an extremely important day, because I could be diagnosed. I suspect these, as does my therapist:
-Anti-Social Personality Disorder: I actually have a shitton of symptoms. I do not know nor understand when I do something wrong, especially when it is social. Such as certain forms of manipulation. I mimic emotions and facial expressions as well as views so well irl that peope do not know the difference. I also only feel remorse when my reputation, status, or relationships are on the line. Don't worry; online is the only place I have truly been honest with anyone other than my therapist. ASPD is very, very close to that. If this condition sounds broad, it actually is a bit broad. It consists of two conditions I'm pretty damn sure you know of: Psychopathy and Sociopathy.
-Bipolar Type 1: People with Bipolar Type 1 have manic episodes where they can become delusional. They can also become a danger to to themselves and society if they have a mood swing or some other factor in an episode. They lose control of themselves in an episode to the point where they feel possessed. This is me to a fucking T.
One of my old friends was thrown into jail for strangling a class mate, I mean, I'm unsure if that actually happened, but the dude was very violent after months and months of being blamed and hurt, as well as psychotic. So it's not hard to believe. If you don't know who I am talking about, he was the Gorrilaz Wiki admin known as MisterXenomorph. Dear god, how could I be the one left over? I always thought I'd be arrested or hospitalized first.
I've also left this site due to my account being discovered by both a potential doxxer and the person who I've developed a seething hatred for. Also, I'm very lonely and sad. I've been working to get better and to become a good person, but I don't think that'll ever happen. Life is bleak, hateful, and treats me like a disease. I'm just happy I have a few people to confide in, that is what keeps me here, along with a fear of pain.
Ok sorry that I kept going on rants n shit about how I fuckin keep getting banned.
I was and am a sad excuse of a human being.
I get banned for bullshit reasons, like getting pissed at the person who decided to cause a domino effect of bans for almost a year now. Huh.
I'm very calm right now, unlike most times I get banned.
I most definitely improved since 3 years ago.
Have Hotline Miami yaoi.
i'll pop on like twice a month but that's all at most.
discord and google and arian's alt miiverse with little to no rules
also have this old art i drew because potatoes
I'm bored as FUCK
And also inactive, too.
Because I forget about this place.
AIso you want to contact me, my Discord is ebf lover#6279
somone gave me the personal info of a rich preppy douchebag i've been having trouble with. no clue what to do, but he drinks and smokes underage and stalks me. I feel anxiety, and people have been telling me I show all signs of DID, so I'm worried about that too.
I was betrayed by friends now sworn enemies. They are trying to impersonate me. I turned everyone against them, though. I went from being hated to being trusted. Never have I felt so conflicted.
Anyway, school is...bad. Really, really bad. My teacher got my IA fired. The only good IA in the district. My new one is geared towards kids with Down Syndrome, even though my problems are social and not mental. She treats me like a dog, just like my English Teacher.
Every Jew down in Jew-ville liked Hanukka a lot...
But the Füher, who lived just north of Jew-ville did NOT!
The Füher hated Hanukka! The whole Hanukka season! Now please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason. It could be his head just wasn't screwed on quite right. It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight. But I think the most likely reason of all, may have been that his dick was two sizes too small.
"And they're lighting their menorahs!" He snarled with a sneer.
"Tomorrow is Hanukka! It's practically here!"
Then he growled, with his Füher fingers nervously drumming.
"I MUST find a way to stop Hanukka from coming!"
But for whatever his reason, his dick or his shoes, he stood there on Hanukka Eve, hating the Jews. Staring down from his cave with a sour, Adolf-y frown at the warm lighted menorahs below in their town. For he knew every Jew down in Jew-ville beneath was busy now, wearing sandals on their feet.
...All the Jew girls and all the Jew boys would wake up bright and early. They'd rush for their toys! And then! Oh, the nose! Oh the nose! Nose! Nose! Nose! That's the one thing he hated! The NOSE! NOSE! NOSE! NOSE!
Then the Jews, young and old, would sit down to a feast. And they'd feast. And they'd feast! And they'd FEAST FEAST FEAST FEAST! They would feast on Jew-pudding, and the rare Jew-roast-beast which was something the Füher couldn't stand in the least!
And THEN they'd do something he liked least of all! Every Jew down in Jew-ville, the tall and the small, would stand close together, with the Hanukka bells ringing. They'd stand hand and hand. And the Jews would start singing!
They'd sing! and they'd sing! AND they'd SING! SING! SING! SING! And the more the Füher thought of this Jew-Hanukka-sing, the more Füher thought "I must stop this whole thing! Why for fifty-three years I've put up with it now! I MUST stop stop Hanukka from coming... But HOW?"
Then he got an idea!
A final idea!
GOT A FINAL, WONDERFUL IDEA!
"All I need is a rentier..."
The Füher looked around. But since rentier are scarce, there was none to be found. Did that stop the old Füher...? No! The grinch simply said, "If I can't find that rentier, I'll make one instead!"
So he called his dog, Mein. Then he took some red thread and he tied a big horn on the top of his head.
"I know just what to do!" The Füher laughed in his throat. And he made a quick Shutztaffel hat and a coat. And he chuckled, and clucked, "what a great Adolf-y trick! With this coat and this hat I'll look just like the SS!"
Then the Füher said, "giddap!" Then the Volkswagen started down toward the homes where the Jews lay a-snooze in their town.
THEN he loaded some bags. And some old empty sacks. On a ramshackle 'wagon, and he hitched up old Mein.
All their windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air. All the Jews were all dreaming sweet dreams without care. When he came to the first little house on the square.
"This is stop number one." The old Hitler-y Officer hissed. And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist.
Then he slid down the chimney. A rather tight fit. But, if the Schutztaffel can do it, then so could the 'Hit!"
He got stuck only once, for a moment or two. Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue, where the little Jew children all slept in a row.
"These children," he grinned, "are the first things to go!"
Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant, around the whole room, and he took every present! Money! and money! Money! Money! Money! Money! And money! And he stuffed them in bags. Then the grinch, very nimbly, stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimney!
Then he slunk to the icebox. He took the Jews' feast! He took the Jew-pudding! He took the roast beast! He cleaned out that ice box as quick as a flash! Why, that Füher even took the last can of Jew-hash!
Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with poor handle.
"And NOW!" Grinned the grinch, "I will stuff up that stupid candle!"
And the grinch grabbed the menorah, and he started to shove, when he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove. He turned around fast and he saw a small Jew!
Right then and right there he snatched her right up! He sent her up the chimney without giving a fuck!
Then the last thing he took was the log for the fire! Then he went up the chimney himself, the old liar! On their walls he left nothing but some wire and vandal, and one speck of dust, from that rusty old candle.
Then he did the same thing to all the other Jews' houses, leaving specks of dust from their stupid menorahs.
It was quarter past dawn... All the Jews still sleep'n, all the Jews still a-snooze when he packed up his 'wagon. Packed it up with their presents! their candles! Their dradles! The money! The money! The money! The money!
Three thousand feet up, up the side of Mt. Fuckit, he rode with his lode to the tiptop to dump it!
"Pooh-pooh to the Jews!" He was Adolfishly humming.
"They're finding out now that no Hanukkka is coming! They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do! Their mouths will hang open for a minute or two then the Jews down in Jew-ville will all cry BOO-HOO!"
"That's a noise," grinned the Füher, "that I simply MUST hear!" So he paused. And the Füher put his hand to his ear. And he did hear a sound rising over the snow. It started in low. Then it started to grow...
But the sound wasn't sad! In fact it was merry! But it couldn't be so! But it WAS merry! VERY!
He stared down at Jew-ville! The Füher popped out his eyes! Then he shook! What he saw was a shocking surprise!
Every Jew down in Jew-ville, the tall and the small, was singing, without any presents at all!
He HADN'T stop Hanukka from coming! IT CAME! Somehow or the other, it came just the same!
And the Füher, with his Füher feet ice-cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling: "how could it be so? It came with out money! It came with out money! It came without money or money or money!"
And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore. Then the Füher thought of something he hadn't before!
"Maybe Hanukka," he thought, "doesn't come from anime lore. Maybe Hanukka, perhaps, means a little bit more!"
And what happened then...? Well, in Jew-ville they say, that the Füher's small dick grew three sizes that day! And the minute his dick didn't feel quit so tight, he whizzed with his load through the bright morning light, and he brought back the dradles and the food for the feast!
Burned the Jew-roast-beast!
I have like
5 in the works
they won't be on here